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Writer's pictureMarilyn Benner-Sowyak

A Blank Sheet of Paper

The vision for Crematorium started twenty years ago when I was told a story. I was working as a nurse in a New York City emergency room when a nurse friend approached me at the desk while I was charting.

“Did you hear what happened last night up in the ICU?” She asked in her soft southern voice, her bright blue eyes wide with suspense which caught my attention.

“No. I didn’t.”

“Well. A nurse went on her night shift break, and homicide was there to greet her when she returned. Her patient bled to death...” she said dramatically, enunciating the word death. “And they might arrest her for murder. Can you believe it? It’s every nurse’s nightmare to have something like that happen to a patient. And, you know, something like that could really happen and not even be our fault.”

“Oh, my God. That’s frightening.”

“It gets worse. Homicide is impounding all the Hewlett Packard monitors and closing the ICU. Can you imagine?”


I spent the rest of that crazy day in the E.R. worrying about the involved nurse, wondering if they went to jail. We never heard another word after that, despite all the nurses trying to break more of the story. The gossip chain in a hospital carries everything related to anything. But that story was squashed by the Ivory Tower (administration).

As it turns out, I was also in television production as a Medical Advisor, Script Supervisor for many shows: Guiding Light, Another World, As the World Turns, One Life to Live, and Law & Order.

I was shooting an episode at Chelsea Piers, the L&O studios, when I spoke with the director for that day over lunch. I told him the story, and he excitedly exclaimed, “Let’s do it. What a story. Where’s the script?”

“I didn’t write it.”

“Well, get it done, girl. That’s a good story. Bring it to me. I’ll direct it.”


HERE COMES THE REST OF THE BOOK


When 911 came, and the World Trade Center came crumbling down on a significant part of the city, Law & Order was shut down by the government. They needed to use the pier as a morgue for the victims. And I stopped working on the script to help with recovery efforts in the local E.R.’s.

If that wasn’t enough, the Writer’s Guild decided to go on strike. Then the Screen Actors Guild agreed to go out in sympathy along with the daytime television union AFTRA (American Federation of Television and Radio Artists). It put me out of business as I was a member of SAG & AFTRA.

So, my husband and I decided to try out Charlotte, North Carolina, where our families lived. The strike was believed to last up to two years. My daughter was having a baby, and I wanted to be nearby.

I got a job at Carolina’s Medical Center Main emergency department, a level one trauma center. And I loved it. While working there, I was introduced to a local writer Gwen Hunter who gave someone my number for me to call her. She wrote medical mysteries.

To make a long story short, I told Gwen the story over a meal at the Olive Garden and gave her permission to write it. Her response was straightforward.

“You need to write it,” she said with great emphasis.

“I don’t do books, Gwen. I do scripts.”

“You need to write this book. No one can do it better. You’re a nurse. You see it.”

So, I went home and wrote the first chapter. On that unforgettable day, I created the character, Maggie. The next day - came the character, Willow. She was an actual patient of mine whose name and likeness were changed to protect her identity. Her experience with domestic violence was real, and my conversation with her came from a real-life conversation. The next day - Benny, who worked with me in real life in the E.R., became a character. Then came Sam, a real helicopter nurse I would see from time to time in real life. I never met him but liked his image.

After that, I began to sprinkle real medical stories I’d experienced over my lengthy career working up and down the east coast. I didn’t intend it that way, but I’d never written a book before either. It seemed to come together like magic.

The clinical trial story also came from a real-life story that happened to a friend. That’s where Ivan was created as Sam’s identical twin. I made him an identical twin because I wanted Sam to feel his desperation.

I did not know who the killer was going to be until I was forced to make the decision. Sam, Kerrington, and Ivan were all intentionally written to be the killer. They all had motives to be the serial killer. Eventually, when the three of them backed me into a corner, I finally had to choose who it would be.

And so, for the person who wrote in an Amazon review that they knew who the killer was right off the bat – you are deluding yourself. You didn’t. Because if I didn’t – so you sure didn’t. And that was the beautiful ride of the book. I let the characters drive the story. I let them tell me what they were going to do. That was the exciting part.

Back to real life - I soon became the Clinical Supervisor (Charge Nurse) of the E.R. and became very busy with an intense life - so writing time was limited. After ten long years, along came Covid. Who would have thought it would take a pandemic for me to find the time to finish my book? I worked as a nurse during the first part of the pandemic. But when the worst part of Covid came, I was sidelined to work from home due to my age. That broke my heart, but I finished my book.

Last but not least, finding the cover was another thing big project. Eventually, after searching for a long time, I found an artist from Ukraine who created the cover you see on the website. Amazon would not let me market my book with that cover, but it remains the genuine cover for the book.


Until next time. Adios.

Marilyn Benner-Sowyak

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